


hey; (wanna raise a baby together?)

by explaininfinity



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, It is not, lisoo! finally!, oh well, part two / the end's out now so... yes, proofread!, this was supposed to be short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explaininfinity/pseuds/explaininfinity
Summary: in which lisa finds a baby and jisoo is somehow persuaded to keep itaka the lisoo stranded on an island!au





	1. part one: the crash

**Author's Note:**

> i literally did research on infant development and airplane construction for this. how am i such a procrastinator and such a perfectionist at the same time?

 

 

 

"it's a _baby_ ," jisoo says, as if saying that would somehow make the small thing disappear. she likes kids just as much as the average person don't get her wrong, but it's a freaking _baby_.

 

"i know. but it's just a small baby," lisa tries, gently rocking the little creature (that's what jisoo is calling it until future notice) in question back and forth in her arms. it coos and grabs on to the finger lisa's dancing in front of its nose. "i think she likes me!" lisa exclaims, as the creature drags the finger towards its mouth before biting down, _hard_. lisa yelps and pulls her hand away, although she never stops rocking it in her other arm.

 

"if that's how it shows affection, i'm okay with you being its favorite," jisoo deadpans. lisa probably would have retorted if the small creature hadn't thrown up all over both itself and lisa. jisoo trudges ahead to grab something to clean the pair off with, but the smile on lisa's face never diminishes the entire walk back to their camp, in spite of the vomit on her arm. lisa looks a lot happier than she has been in a long time, probably since they ended up here, as she continues to dance her fingers in front of the little thing's face, although not letting it grab onto them anymore. (that _definitely_ will _not_ play into jisoo's decision to let the creature stay or not).

 

 _"just a small baby,"_ jisoo mutters.

 

she has a sinking feeling that this little creature will turn out to be a lot more than that.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

she's not entirely sure how she feels about the baby (she has to call it that now, because chaeng and jennie saw it and there was no turning back from that).

 

it's been three weeks now since they were shipwrecked (well, is it called airplane-wrecked if your jet crashes?) _stranded_ on this damn island. (they found the baby on day two) they've been managing alright for four girls who have little-to-no experience in the outdoors, much less on a remote, deserted island somewhere between a secluded airstrip in korea and their intended vacation location in the caribbean.

 

they were lucky to be together though, which probably would have happened regardless, given that they had literally been clipped together when their pilot had attached them to a large parachute and all but shoved them out of the private jet's cargo door. they had yet to find him, or their flight attendant so, at least for the time being, the four of them were alone. (jisoo was _really_ regretting letting jennie convince her to choose a private jet, although they both knew that it didn't take much work because of their shared hatred of public airports).

 

it was a pretty small island (although, jisoo's not entirely sure how island scaling works, so it may very well be a large island in reality), only a short distance from where they had plunged into the ocean. thankfully, one of the several, strange survival kits that their pilot had clipped to each of them had housed a small, inflatable lifeboat, so they had rowed their way over to the nearest landmass. it was on fire when they arrived, as their plane apparently had the same landing plan and decided to nosedive there too. surprisingly, the plane itself survived most of both the crash and the fire, other than the nose of the thing which, of course, held the radio system and any other communication methods. _well_ , they _think_. none of them really know how anything about how a plane works, but lisa has pushed, pulled and twisted every button that hadn't been burned to a crisp (and the few that were burnt too) and nothing has happened, so they think they're pretty much screwed as far as calling for help goes.

 

that's a big reason that jisoo's rather _hesitant_ to keep the baby that she and lisa found on one of their exploration excursions (because they have to explore the island if they want to survive, she decided). she _and_ lisa because they weren't allowed to walk through an airport alone, so they're sure as hell not allowed to walk through an uncharted _island_ alone. it's the only other human being they've found as of yet but it had to get there _somehow,_ meaning there probably are other people on the island. and while lisa is excited by the prospect of other people, jisoo is a bit more apprehensive. if they accidentally steal these other people's baby, it's likely that they will retaliate and jisoo is 100% certain that the four of them would lose in a fight, regardless of who it's against. they're _singers_ for god's sake, they may have abs but that does _not_ mean that any of them besides lisa can throw a punch or if hers will even do any damage.

 

jennie, being the logical person she is, points out that the baby is wearing brand-name clothing and successfully convinces herself, lisa and chaeyoung that the baby was probably their pilot's or their flight attendant's. (they also found it near another parachute-like contraption, so that logic isn't _completely_ flawed, but that also doesn't mean that jisoo's _completely_ convinced either).

 

regardless, jisoo acknowledges that they can't just _leave_ the baby back where they found it, so she gives in. the baby is allowed to stay until they search the entire island to ensure that they aren't kidnapping someone's baby (in which case, they _will_ give the baby back, no matter how attached they are or will be to her). jennie and chaeyoung are placed on shelter duty because thankfully, chaeyoung once learned how to make a fire back in australia and she and jennie are the only ones with any ability to cook (and everyone is aware that forcing jennie to _explore_ would be an absolute disaster). that leaves jisoo and lisa on _team baby!_ as lisa quickly names them, which makes jisoo shove her face in her hands and instantly wish there was a veranda she could lock the other girl on. despite that, lisa constructs a harness out of parts of plane seats and several seatbelts and off they go, partially to search for other people (or _help_ as lisa wants to call it) and partially to find food. luckily, there's a fresh water spring only a dozen or so feet away from the plane crash site, so water isn't a problem and there's an abundance of trees with fresh fruits alongside the rations that were kept in an emergency box near the flight attendant station, so jisoo's not scared of anyone starving to death any time soon.

 

while lisa had promised to take care of the baby by herself (which reminds jisoo a little of when she asked to adopt leo, making jisoo miss dalgom a lot), lisa can barely take care of herself, _scratch that_ , lisa _can't_ take care of herself on her own. so, jisoo as the unofficial mom of the group (a title for which she would _very much_ like to debate) and the other member of _team baby!_ (which, unfortunately, has stuck, probably because jennie and chaeyoung like seeing jisoo in pain) is appointed as the baby's mother as well. the baby though _has_ actually taken to lisa (probably because they think rather similarly) and so _team baby!_ falls into a strange _"co-parenting without actually being parents or together"_ kind of system.

 

it's more than a little confusing.

 

jennie and chaeyoung started dating not long after the dating ban in their contracts had expired (which jisoo was more than a little grateful for, because she was _sick_ of hearing jennie's long-winded speeches about how _cute_ chaeyoung's cheeks were and how _sexy_ rosie sounded when she spoke english). they were always professional, but that didn't mean that lisa and jisoo were sometimes forced together when the couple wanted to _couple._ lisa never seemed upset by it, and neither was jisoo but that didn't mean it wasn't a little awkward when they were the only other people within god-knows-how-many kilometers of each other. but the couple has always been good about being focused when they need to be (and being stranded on an island definitely qualified as a situation that needs focus) so they aren't really the problem.

 

it's not a _problem_ even per se anyway. so, like everything else that’s not essential for survival right now, jisoo ignores the strange _feeling_ in her stomach that she can't really name or define when she looks over at lisa with the baby. she's got more important things to focus on then her feelings right now, like making sure her members (and the baby, she supposes) are alive. she's all too aware of the fact that they need her to be the eonni, the responsible decision-maker (because while jennie might have been in charge of music-related decisions, the instant they landed, all of that power fell to her) so she is. jisoo pretends like she knows what she's doing, delegates tasks like they have any other choice and takes as much of the workload as she possibly can (and probably a little more than she can reasonably handle).

 

it's a difficult adjustment period, to say the least.

 

the first problem they discovered was a significant lack of beds. it's a private jet though, so the two couches in the body of the thing sufficed well enough for the first two nights. only two of them slept at a time anyways, because jisoo insisted on having someone on guard (especially when the baby appeared). that was until lisa was messing around with chairs, trying to make the baby's harness and learned that they were actually pull-out couches, a very welcome discovery. as time passed, jisoo relaxed on the night watch situation which resulted in chaeyoung and jennie claiming a bed (not that they hadn't already been sharing one). lisa and jisoo take turns interchangeably resting in the other bed or the armchair beside it that got knocked a little off of its hinges in the crash and as such, works surprisingly well as a rocking chair for the baby and isn't terribly uncomfortable. the baby itself is a great sleeper, and on the rare occasion that it does wake up in the night, a mostly quiet crier. jisoo knows only a little bit about kids (especially because she barely ever got to see her nephews even when they were in the same country) but the baby can't be under four months, as it's got a couple of teeth but it's still pretty far from walking, which jisoo is pretty sure happens around eleven months. it's kinda sad that don't have a birth date or even month for the little thing, but given that they're stranded on an island, that's probably not the biggest problem currently.

 

it's all more than a little exhausting, but they're okay.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

the baby needs a name.

 

it's been a month now, or just about anyways but jisoo has vetoed every suggestion jennie, lisa and chaeyoung keep throwing at her.

 

"we can't just keep calling her _the baby_ eonni," lisa complains one day when they're on patrol collecting fruit. jisoo's not entirely sure why they call it _patrol_ because they're not _patrolling_ anything, but like most things lisa says, it strangely sticks and jisoo just deals with it.

 

"why not? it's short, nicknameable and gender-neutral," jisoo challenges, smirking when she sees lisa roll her eyes. "and anyways, it responds to _the baby_ already, isn't that right?" the last part of her statement was directed downward at the baby in the harness attached to her stomach, who immediately giggles and tries to grab at jisoo's nose. jisoo smirks again and lisa rolls her eyes again, turning back to the tree in front of her. they're currently on scavenging duty but lisa can't carry the baby because she's dragging the suitcases that hold tomorrow's breakfast, so jisoo gets it. she's not entirely happy about that because the baby keeps trying to rip off any piece of her face it can snatch, but she has the lighter of the two loads as of right now, so she's not particularly upset either.

 

they've fallen completely into a schedule, all five of them, and almost ironically so. the girls always used to complain about their schedules, saying that they would want more freedom if given the choice. but here, with no one telling them what to do, they've willingly decided on their own version of them. chaeyoung, jennie, jisoo and lisa take turns with the baby in pairs and adventure out into the island in pairs too, like right now, as _team baby!_ goes on the search for food.

 

(jisoo finds herself on _team baby!_ more often than not) (she's not entirely sure how she feels about it)

 

as far as the name situation goes, it's not because she's afraid they'll have to give the baby back to anyone. at this point, she and lisa have searched every inch of the island, which now officially has a population of five: one aussie chipmunk, one chanel princess, one dancing machine, one korean national treasure and one baby (yet-to-be-named) _only_. and it's not that she's not attached to the little creature, because as much as she kinda wishes she hadn't, she's grown used to the baby. thankfully, they found a small duffel lodged in a compartment near the flight attendant's station (which pretty much confirmed that the baby crash-landed with them) so they're doing pretty okay as far as clothes and supplies go. the baby has become so integrated into their lives that jisoo's not really sure what they're supposed to do without it, as much as she hates to admit that. especially when someone gets particularly frustrated, bouncing the smiling, chubby-cheeked little thing on their legs and listening to its laughter instantly calms them all down. in all fairness, jisoo has probably done that more than anyone else, taking the baby for walks down the shoreline to clear her head while her members sleep more times than she can count. so even jisoo herself isn't really sure why she won't let anyone name the baby.

 

"dalgom."

 

"no."

 

"lisa junior."

 

" _absolutely_ not."

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

it's hitting lisa the hardest, jisoo can just _tell_.

 

she's struggling too, so are jennie and chaeyoung, but they at least have each other.

 

lisa's getting more and more homesick (for either thailand or korea, jisoo's not sure) and more and more frustrated because of it. jisoo hates to admit it but she's getting more and more scared for, but also _of_ , the girl. one of the kits they had landed with had housed an ax (which was more than a little terrifying to discover) but lisa, as of recent, has taken to disappearing with it and returning with a suitcase full of wood.

 

it's not that they don't need the wood, it's the look in lisa's eyes as she hacks the trees down that bothers her. jisoo hadn't meant to spy- _actually, no, she did,_ because as the group's unofficial mom (a title which she has now somewhat resentful accepted) it's her job to know where her members are at all times, especially because they were specifically told _not_ to go anywhere alone.

 

 **_broken_ ** , that's the only accurate word that jisoo could think of to describe her. lisa looks _broken_ down, but even more worryingly, as she sloppily attacks the tree, jisoo notices that lisa's sobbing.

 

jisoo's not entirely sure how to handle the situation because _goddamnit_ she's not supposed to be the emotional support one. she's supposed to be the mood-maker, the jokester that gets everyone's spirits back up _after_ they're upset. she's a great shoulder to cry on but she's not great at figuring out _what_ to say when people are crying. chaeyoung and jennie are so much better at this kind of thing but they're currently an hour long walk away, making food and watching the baby. so jisoo has to do this alone.

 

maybe running up behind lisa and hugging her while she's holding an ax wasn't the best decision jisoo's ever had but she does it anyways. lisa swirls around, thankfully dropping the ax in the process but jisoo is no less alarmed by the sudden hands encircling her arms. when lisa realizes that it's in fact, jisoo who is in her grasp, she instantly releases her before turning away, back to the ax and the stump she was using to elevate the pieces of wood. jisoo's not an idiot, so she notices the sly way that lisa swipes at her eyes, pretending that she's just wiping the sweat from her face and not tears.

 

"how long have you been standing there?" lisa asks, the question obviously intended for jisoo but directed at the piece of wood she's currently staring down.

 

in lieu of an answer, jisoo chooses instead to seat herself down against a tree near lisa, "long enough."

 

the next crack of metal on wood is much softer, and because of it, lisa struggles to pull the ax out of the log. she quickly gets frustrated, first trying to shake the ax to release it and eventually just whacking the piece of wood against the stump. she slowly tires and slumps down, the ax clattering out of her hand, hitting the ground and finally splitting the log apart and implanting itself into the ground only inches away from her foot. it was dangerously close to hitting her, which seems to shock lisa out of the disaffected state she's in.

 

she leaves the ax on the ground, and sits down, resting against a stump that's facing jisoo. she leans her head back, closing her eyes and sighing deeply.

 

"is someone looking for us eonni?"

 

she only speaks after a long pause, and even then, she still doesn't open her eyes or move her head from the position it's in, toward the sky.

 

really, it's a question that jisoo herself has been struggling with too. she's all too aware of the reality that they are celebrities and that she's pretty sure that people have been looking for them, but it's also been a while (how long, she's not entirely sure but at least a few months probably). she doesn't want to lie and say that she's certain people are but she knows that she needs to be strong. for lisa's sake.

 

"of course."

 

she's pretty grateful that lisa's not looking at her because jisoo's not sure if she would have believed herself. lisa just sighs again before standing up and grabbing her ax. she positions another piece of wood on the stump and swings hard, the sound echoing in the small patch of trees.

 

"i'm sorry for running off. i know i shouldn't have."

 

her response is steely, and jisoo can tell that lisa's guarding herself after letting a momentary gap in her armor. jisoo, for all of her life experience, has no idea what to do. so she just sits by lisa's side until lisa's done chopping wood and follows her back to the camp.

 

she wills herself for a walk back to the trees the next day but it doesn't come. lisa stays in the camp for the entire day (other than when they're out scavenging), and the entire next day and then all of the subsequent ones that follow. the ax stays in the suitcase in the closet for a while, until they need wood, at which point lisa asks jisoo to come with her to the patch of trees.

 

it's not much, but it's progress and it's enough.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

who would have thought that it would get so cold on a fucking _tropical_ island? not jisoo, that's for sure.

 

when they had initially landed, it was boiling hot, like _devil's kitchen in the fiery pits of hell_ hot and jisoo really wanted the sun to fuck right off but now, she's freezing her ass off, and the ~beachy aesthetic~ isn't making her feel any better. their suitcases, which were kinda busted up in the crash but otherwise were fine, are completely empty as the girls layer themselves and the baby up. having the plane itself is definitely been a huge help, because the winds lately have been picking up, which means sand tornados, but the shell of the thing seems to be holding up okay. the only problem with that though, is that they can't light a fire, both because the wind would blow it out and because the sand would smother it. during the days, the winds seem to die down so they can venture out but they're pretty much stuck in the plane at night.

 

jennie and chaeyoung don't seem to mind terribly, as they hide under the blanket of chanel sweaters that chaeyoung sewed using a tiny travel sewing kit stowed in an emergency kit they had landed with. jennie had almost cried when chaeyoung ripped one of her thousand-dollar jackets apart but she wasn't complaining now, cuddled comfortably into her girlfriend's side. lisa's tucked under another blanket on her- _well,_ her and jisoo's (just not at the same time) -bed. jisoo's pacing, kinda shivering in a mobile cocoon of jackets because there hadn't been enough thread to make a fourth blanket after the baby's and also, she's currently walking around.

 

the baby's sleeping soundly in her arms. her sleeping patterns have gotten a bit worse, with the sounds of sand hitting the plane waking her up more than jisoo would like. they're trapped in the plane too, because it's not like they can go outside into the whirling storms of sand that would probably blind them. just when she thinks she has the baby quieted though, the baby decides that she has other plans, her wails growing in volume. jisoo ventures farther into the cockpit, as far away from her members as she possibly can but that does little to help. in reality, the baby responds to lisa the best anyway and jisoo has half a mind to wake the other girl up but jisoo knows that the younger girl _really_ needs the sleep. they've all been taking night shifts and lisa's just finished hers.

 

that doesn't stop the pair of arms from snaking behind her waist, a chin coming to rest on her shoulder as a slightly taller girl leans, exhausted, on her.

 

"how's jieun?" a slumber-filled murmur tumbles out as one of lisa's hands raises, curling around jisoo's side to rest in front of the baby, who immediately quiets, entranced by the dancing fingers.

 

" _jieun_?" jisoo asks, chuckling softly as not to wake their sleeping members as lisa's other hand comes to rest on jisoo's other hip.

 

"yeah. it's got a part of you and your sister's names but it's also got part of chaeyoung's sister's name* too because i know you all miss them. you like it?" lisa mumbles, a little more awake now and a little more shyly than jisoo's seen her in a long time. the baby reaches out for lisa, who detaches herself from jisoo to take the baby from her arms. jisoo shivers, and feels a little disappointed, _only_ because she's missing the warmth lisa and the baby brought her. they shuffle back into the body of the plane where their members have yet to move. lisa pads over to the crib that she constructed a while back and sets the baby down into it. she's still awake, but significantly less so than she had been before lisa began rocking her.

 

"you know, that doesn't really fit the generation name* my sister decided for my family," jisoo mumbles as she reattaches herself to lisa's waist, burying herself in the blanket that lisa had pulled tightly around herself. lisa just smiles, as she begins wrapping the baby up in a blanket. she coos a little but her eyes are blinking a lot slower than they had been a minute ago.

 

"shouldn't it be your sister's husband that decides that kind of thing?" lisa whispers as she rocks the crib back and forth, humming a soft lullaby in thai. it's always the same one, and jisoo doesn't have the heart to ask if it's the only one she knows. lisa has translated the lyrics for her before, on an especially long night when neither of them wanted to fall asleep but jisoo can't really remember what they mean. she knows the melody, however, and hums alongside her.

 

"don't correct me on korean culture, miss thailand," she mutters, faking an affronted expression and trying (and failing) to sound angry at the other girl. lisa's laugh is soft, but jisoo can feel it reverberate throughout both of their entire bodies as she leans further into her. because she's tired, cold and doesn't want to stand up. no other reasons. "and anyway, fuck the patriarchy."

 

lisa rushes to pick up the baby and press her against her own chest, covering the free ear with her hand, " _eonni!_ baby ears!" she hisses as she spins around to face jisoo, and point an accusing finger in her face.

 

"are you kidding?" jisoo scoffs, batting away the finger from her face and leaning down to face the baby, tickling her chin softly as the baby's breath evens out. "i'm sure jieun's heard worse at this point."

 

"oh, so you _do_ like the name?" lisa chuckles teasingly as she lies the baby down in its crib, her eyes closed and a smile across both of their faces. jieun quickly attaches herself to the stuffed dog next to her. it used to be chaeyoung's but jieun had grabbed onto it the moment she saw it, and from then on, it was for, all intents and purposes, hers.

 

jisoo grumbles and shuffles over to the other side of the crib, "i never said _that_ ." jisoo may have taken the role of the official group adult, but that didn't mean she had to give in every time.

 

lisa migrates back over to the bed to lay back down (at which point jisoo remembers that lisa was woken up rather abruptly) but jisoo stays beside the crib.

 

she's not entirely sure why, but she's developed a habit of watching jieun sleep. something about watching her breathe, looking at the tiny little smile that always appears across her face when she's dreaming always makes jisoo feel comforted. jieun's a little bigger now than when they first found her but she's still _so_ **_tiny_ ** . smaller than jisoo's nephews had been, smaller than she could imagine. (well, really, she's probably a normal-sized baby, but she _seems_ incredibly tiny). she also looks _so_ **_fragile_**  that jisoo's afraid to touch her sometimes. especially when they had just found her, jisoo had been _terrified_ of holding her. she had experience with children in the past, but something about being entrusted with a baby scared her out of her mind. she had been so worried that she would do something wrong, that she would accidentally mess up and hurt jieun (she does, in fact, like the name) that she had shied away from her as much as possible. maybe that's why jisoo watches her, to make sure (from a distance) that's she's alright, that she's still breathing, that jisoo hasn't messed up terribly.

 

_"eonni?"_

 

lisa's voice is muffled, probably because her face is still pressed up against one of their rock-hard pillows but it clearly breaks through the silence. jisoo turns and is met with a familiar sight.

 

jisoo has always slept on her back, waking up exactly in the same location that she had fallen asleep in. jennie's similar, although on her side, and with significantly more cuddling. chaeyoung _used_ to move a lot in her sleep, but doesn't as much now that she's got jennie attached to her constantly. lisa, however, sleeps like a starfish. she stretches out, and because her limbs are all astronomically long, she easily takes up the whole bed. like right now, when lisa's arm is outstretched and in the air, beckoning her forward.

 

wait, _what?_

 

jisoo and lisa don't share their bed. jieun doesn't need to be rocked anymore and lisa's built a crib so jisoo doesn't need to sleep in the armchair anymore, but she still does. she can't really explain why, because she and lisa have shared beds before, all of the members have. but she finds herself in the armchair pretty much every night, other than the few that lisa crashed on the armchair for. her body seems to have forgotten that though, because she walks the half-dozen steps from the crib to the bed to lace their fingers together. the warmth is instant, as lisa's been wrapped in a blanket for a while, and jisoo doesn't miss the smile that creeps across her own face as she sees a matching one growing on lisa's lips.

 

"come sleep. it's cold and you're freezing."

 

it's _not_ a big deal. it's not like lisa is asking for her hand in marriage, it's just because she's cold.

 

but that doesn't mean jisoo's heart rate doesn't skyrocket at the words. she tries to pull her hand away to keep lisa warm and away from her but lisa tightens her own grip, lifts the blanket and gently pulls jisoo forward until her thighs hit the side of the bed and she's threatening to tip onto it.

 

jisoo wants to pull herself away, to crawl back over to her safe armchair and sleep this confusing night off. but she's cold and lisa's radiating off heat, it's late and she's not thinking clearly and her self control is at an all-time low.

 

so she allows lisa to yank her the last inch before she tips over the side of the bed.

 

well, that would have been a _kinda_ bad idea. the _kinda_ bad idea turned into a **_horribly_ **bad idea when lisa's pull is stronger than jisoo had expected, forcing her to land on top of the other girl. panic shoots through her body but lisa just casually wraps an arm around her waist, as if this is something that happens every night.

 

and maybe, as jisoo relaxes into her touch and snuggles into her neck, she wishes, _just a little,_ that it did.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

jisoo's lost track of how long they've been on the island. the seasons here are different than in korea, so she's completely lost on how to gauge what time of year it is. it's a little less windy and a little less cold so she figures they're about to hit "spring" but she's not really sure what "spring" looks like on a tropical island.

 

she finds herself cuddling with lisa more often than not these nights. it's never her intention but because lisa's always the last to go to bed, and always exhausted when she does, climbing next to jisoo and pulling their bodies flush.

 

jisoo's always been the first of the girls to wake up. chaeyoung's usually second but jennie and lisa compete hard for last place, knocking out for as long as physically possible at all times. it's never a problem though, because jisoo and chaeyoung have gotten used to preparing breakfast while their members sleep (well, chaeyoung is really the only one who cooks, but jisoo definitely provides moral support) even before they crash-landed. after jieun's bad nights though, when she keeps lisa up for hours on end, jisoo is left alone in their bed and she quickly determines that she doesn't like it. whatever's happening, whatever their _thing_ is, it's messy and confusing, to say the least, especially given the "co-parenting" situation that's happening.

 

that's why she's still awake.

 

it's jennie and chaeyoung's night to deal with jieun (who sleeps a lot better now that the winds have died down) so she really should be resting because god knows she doesn't get enough of it but her mind is spinning too fast for that.

 

she should be used to the sensation of lisa's hand around with her waist (because, while lisa doesn't move as majorly in her sleep anymore, she definitely moves her hands. a lot.) it's probably not intentional, _scratch that_ , it's definitely not intentional because lisa's definitely asleep right now, but that doesn't mean the feeling of lisa's fingers dancing across her skin isn't keeping jisoo awake. it happens almost daily now, which means jisoo isn't supposed to be acting like this anymore, but she is. jisoo tends to overthink things and she knows it. she tries not to, but she can't help but consider every last possibility and jump to the worst possible conclusion until every situation blows up in her face. jieun's a perfect example because, in all fairness, the possibility that jieun didn't land with them was infinitesimally small but that didn't stop jisoo from assuming the worst.

 

she and lisa aren't dating. she and lisa haven't kissed. she's not even sure if lisa likes her or, even more thought-provokingly, if she likes lisa.

 

(well, she _probably_ likes lisa)

 

(no, she _definitely_ likes lisa)

 

but it's confusing regardless. she _could_ date lisa ( as in she physically has the  _ability_ to ) but their lives are already complicated enough, with raising a child and all, and adding her feelings to that mess doesn't seem fair to lisa, or jieun.

 

the thoughts in her head get to be too much, so jisoo does what she's always done: run. (or more specifically, pace down the beach with jieun).

 

she hasn't gotten to in a while, with all the sand tornadoes flying left and right, and she's missed it honestly, the sun is rising over the horizon when she exits the plane, a sleeping jieun in her arms. the sunrises on the island are magical, the pale pinks mixing with the deep black of night coat the sky with light and in their warmth, jisoo feels comforted. there's a boulder a little off the shoreline, not too big that she can't climb on it with jieun in her arms but also tall enough that she'll be safe as the tide rises. she's grown accustomed to sitting on it and just watching the water in the mornings.

 

what she _hasn't_ grown accustomed to though (because it's never happened) is another figure joining her on the rock, snuggling behind her as the waves roll in.

 

jennie is shorter than she is, although she'll never admit it. jisoo can tell when it's jennie because her hugs always come with a pair of arms around her side and quiet whines about wanting food or being tired. chaeyoung's the tallest and her hugs always involve her grabbing jisoo's front and cradling her head in her arms, pulling jisoo so tight she can barely breathe, although not uncomfortably so. lisa's hugs are different. she's the perfect height to hug her from behind, resting a chin on her shoulder and peeking over her at the baby in her arms as lisa pulls them both closer (until jisoo's almost in her lap, but she's _not_ thinking about that). she half-expects lisa to start talking because she can't think of another reason that lisa would be up this early without being required to be but lisa's never been talkative in the morning.

 

"i missed you," lisa whispers into the shoulder of jisoo's sweatshirt, the mumbles sending ripples throughout jisoo. she can't really think of what to do in response because she's not sure what lisa could have missed, given that she's right there. lisa stays silent after that and so does jisoo as the pinks of the sunrise begin to fade into blues, signaling the start of the day.

 

it's only when the sky is comfortably purple that lisa opens her mouth again. "if we get off the island, what are we gonna do about jieun?" she mumbles so softly that jisoo can barely hear it. immediately, jisoo is stricken by the firmness in her voice, the sincerity that she hears. she's _never_ heard lisa this serious, this earnest. it causes jisoo to turn, shifting her body around until they are facing each other. she's again overwhelmed by the strength of lisa's gaze and the darkness in her eyes. it's not the brokenness that she saw back in the forest but it's something close. she considers the question fully, the look in lisa's eyes encouraging her to tell the truth (not that she could ever lie to lisa, not for long or about anything _real_ ).

 

she sighs, turning her gaze down the to the baby in her arms. she has to be at least one now, or damn near close to it. she's walking, if only a little, and she can say a few sounds here and there, mostly bits and pieces of their names. (jisoo's now known as soo, lisa and jennie get lili and nini respectively and chaeyoung has been dubbed rou-rou, which none of them really understand why but none of them really question either). she's sure that jieun is more than comfortable with them, and even jisoo, who knows nothing about children is sure that giving her to someone else if they ever get off the island is not an option. they're too attached now, not just jieun but the girls too.

 

"we keep her, for as long as we can or as long as they let us," jisoo decides finally, looking up at lisa in time to see the worry ( **_that's_ ** _what the expression in her eyes was_ ) drain from her face and be replaced with a smile that jisoo returns before turning back to the horizon and leaning back, resting on lisa's chest.

 

she's still staring at the horizon when something in the sky starts inching toward them. planes have passed over their island a few times, but none this close. lisa instantly jumps up, hopping off the boulder with no regard for the current that sweeps the waves to her thighs. she sprints back to land, heading straight at a large contraption in the middle of the beach, far enough from the shoreline not to get dragged out to sea but close enough that it won't be a danger to the trees or the plane. jisoo gets off the rock a little more cautiously (she's significantly shorter than lisa and has a _baby_ in her arms) but gets back to shore in time to see the flare erupt, the long tree that lisa just doused in their remaining lighter fluid encased in flames. jennie and chaeyoung stumble out of the plane, evidently awoken by either the sound of the fire, the sound of the plane that's nearing them or the heat of the flare itself. jieun's awake and crying but the dog that chaeyoung passes her pacifies her sobs a bit. jisoo clutches her tight as the plane near them, obviously having noticed the gigantic inferno that's just dying down. it begins its descent and only then does lisa begin throwing sand on the flames that are almost out already from strong currents of wind emitting from the plane. the girls all rush back to their plane, gazing at each other with a mixture of apprehension and fear. the idea that these people may be dangerous remains unspoken but jisoo can tell from her member's expressions that they're all thinking it.

 

the plane's noises get much louder then die down altogether, signaling that it's touched down. the girls all look at each other, none of them wanting to be the first one to meet whoever has just landed on their beach. finally, chaeyoung stands, somewhat comically snatching a pan (which had also been in one of their survival kits) and taking a deep breath before opening the door. jennie's quickly after her, apparently not okay with her girlfriend venturing into possible danger on her own. jisoo really wants to leave jieun in the relative safety of the plane but she knows that may be even more dangerous for her if something were to happen to them. lisa steps toward her, lacing their fingers together and giving her a comforting smile. jisoo feels reassured, not just by the smile but by the hand enveloping her own and they step out into the unknown together, just like it should be.

 

 


	2. part two: the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the girls are back, back again!
> 
> (end of this twoshot)

 

 

 

jisoo really shouldn't be surprised by these kinds of things anymore.

 

they had luckily been found by a group of korean police who had somehow been convinced to take another private plane to rescue them. (lisa pouted a little when she learned that it wasn't her flare that had resulted in their rescue, but a jab in the ribs from chaeyoung and she was thanking everyone for finding them all the same). jisoo's almost certain that all of them are at least a little traumatized from _the incident_ (which is what everyone keeps calling it and is significantly easier to say then _that time you were stranded on an island for almost half-a-year_ ) and she's absolutely certain that none of them want to be anywhere _near_ a private plane right now, but that's where they are. it's not like anyone was listening or they had much of a choice. a few hugs, some tears, a basic physical from a doctor and they were directed into the belly of another plane headed straight for korea.

 

they don't have much of a choice about the scrubbing, straightening or manicuring that's happening right now either, because apparently, there will be cameras when they touch down, and _god forbid_ they look unpolished after months stranded on a deserted island. they are representatives of yg entertainment after all, and their contracts haven't run out yet, so they barely own themselves. honestly, they're probably lucky that this planned reunion with their families isn't being scripted too because god knows that they're being just as made-up as jisoo's being right now.

 

(jisoo wonders for the billionth time if this was worth it.)

 

the makeup artists reapply some dirt to their faces and under their nails after the manicures though. apparently, they also can't look _too_ perfect either, someone mutters airly as the cut under jisoo's eye is covered but a sling is wrapped around her arm. a sling is probably a little prettier than a cut, jisoo muses as she watches a brace get latched around chaeyoung's perfectly mobile knee, a cast wrap itself around lisa's wrist and a pair of crutches get handed to jennie to help with her ankle (although she actually needs those, so jisoo's pretty okay with that). she wants to laugh at the dark circles on her face that were covered and then re-applied in a more _fashionably acceptable_ manner. evidently, their first appearance back into the world after the crash is important enough for a good six or seven hours in a makeup chair.

 

none of them say a thing. they've been offered phones to check what's happened online in the last half-dozen months, but they can't talk to their families, so what's the point? jisoo's sure that their fans trended a bunch of hashtags, but she's equally sure that they received just as many hate comments about god-knows-what. how did they gonna spin it this time?

 

**[blackpink not injured enough? did they fake getting shipwrecked, was all just a vacation?] [the girls don't bow deeply enough after months fending for themselves on an island! they have no respect for their own culture!] [yg girls lost too much weight while attempting desperately to survive, unfortunately, _tragically_ , they're not pretty anymore] **

 

chaeyoung and jennie's hands are tightly intertwined under the table and jisoo can feel lisa's foot knocking against hers as she bounces jieun on her knee. to say that everyone had been surprised by the sudden appearance of a baby amongst the girls of blackpink would be an understatement. no one has asked them much, other than if any other people were on the island with them, to which they just pointed at jieun, so they know the baby's not theirs but jieun's still getting some questioning glances. they had even tried to take her away, but evidently, jieun gets her vocal cords from her aunt chaeng because she wailed at the top of her lungs until she was returned to lisa's arms. jennie picks at the sleeve of the perfectly distressed shirt covering her shoulders and chaeyoung pulls at the hem of her skirt. jisoo can tell that they're thinking the same thing: it all feels _too_ fake, _too_ clean. maybe she actually did get used that stupid island in the end.

 

the pilot announces that they're about to descend, and jisoo can see the panic seep into her member's eyes. she ignores everyone's instructions to stay seated, she ignores the panicked feeling rising in her own stomach and reaches forward to kneel between them, taking one of jennie's hands in her own. lisa smiles, grabbing her other hand and encouraging jieun to grab one of her fingers. jieun does, snatching the finger that chaeyoung is waving in front of her face as she laces her fingers in between jennie's, completing the circle.

 

it's a smooth touchdown, but that doesn't make any of them feel better.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

lisa sprints down the tarmac as soon as a staircase touches the plane's door and literally jumps on top of her dad, pulling her mom in with her other arm. chaeyoung and jennie are out next, hobbling to keep each other upright until they reach their families in a teary mess. jisoo is last to leave the plane, calmly stepping down the stairs after her members toward her family. her nephews are taller, she thinks, and her brother's wife is glowing a little more than the last time they saw each other. her mom and dad, her _gigantic, intimidating dad who she's never seen cry once in her life_ , are both in tears when they finally reach each other, pulling her tight, but softly so. she's got a sling in one arm and a baby in the other after all.

 

right, _the baby_.

 

jisoo knows that the press are following them hawkishly, which is probably a big reason she told lisa to let her hold jieun for the time being. she can feel them focus on her, and she can already imagine the ridiculous headlines. **_[blackpink jisoo got pregnant on a deserted island?!]_ ** jieun start to whimper a bit, which is a sure sign that she's about to have a meltdown, probably from the noise. jisoo pulls jieun close to her to block out as much of the camera flashes, people yelling and clicking sounds as she can, but there's only so much that she can do. her sister seems to understand what's happening, swiftly pulling out a pair of baby-sized headphones from somewhere and carefully resting them on jieun's ears. jisoo can only manage to smile at her gratefully before they're whisked away from their families to a press conference which, for some reason, could _not_ wait until jisoo said a _fucking_ **_word_ ** to her family that she hasn't seen in god knows how long. she hasn't even gotten to tell her _mother_ how they found jieun, or her _name_ for god's sake. it's all too familiar, the managers debriefing then before the conference, the last minute makeup touch-ups, people pushing and pulling at her clothes and hair. they even tried to put makeup on jieun, who's still with them (because damn,she's got some impressive lungs) but lisa swatted them all away. really, jieun's probably comforting lisa more than the reverse, jisoo notices as lisa smiles the brightest she has all day when jieun pulls on her hair and grins, her two teeth proudly jutting out. the hairstylists rush to fix whatever jieun's done, but lisa just waves them off, letting her tug undone the braids that are probably hiding how unkempt her hair is.

 

before jisoo even has time to think about the answers she wants to give, they're pushed out onto a stage and directed into a row of chairs behind a long table and in front of a large crowd.

 

there are more people here than she's used to, not because they've haven't done this in a while but because there are _actually_ more reporters than she's used to. getting stuck on a deserted island probably makes for good press, especially when it's the members of one of the world's most popular girl groups. the camera flashes are brighter than she remembered though, and she forces herself not to repeatedly blink. when she takes a peek at her members, she can instantly gauge exactly how they're feeling. jennie and chaeyoung have always been obvious with their facial expressions, and their discomfort, although likely not clear to the news outlets. is _definitely_ clear to her. lisa, however, isn't looking up at all, instead focused entirely on shielding jieun from as much of the bright light as she can. not that jieun notices, because somehow, in all of this raucous commotion, she's actually fallen asleep against lisa's chest. supposedly, yg already made a statement about jieun, that she's  _not,_  in fact, any of their biological daughters, but other than that, no one really knows anything about their time on the island.

 

the press conference begins a little differently than she's used to, mostly because instead of questions about choreography and concepts, the city's police chief is detailing the declassified version of their rescue. jisoo tunes it out. it's not that she's not grateful, _she is_  but she also doesn't want to hear about why it took them so long to get her members off that island. the questions then turn to the girls and jisoo is forced to speak up. she knows that moments like this is where she truly leads the group, as their spokesperson. she does her best to formulate answers to the questions that don't reveal too much but also appease their management, the press and their fans.

 

it's exhausting.

 

she's not used to mincing her words like this anymore but she adds in jokes where she can and smiles sweetly at the cameras. some time after a sarcastic mention of the difficulty of cooking over an open flame, and a well-worded statement that she missed her fans and family most (which is true), someone asks the question she's been dreading.

 

it's a young man, probably a rookie reporter, looking to prove himself and inflate his ego after getting a shiny new degree. he stands up proudly when the mc points to him and asks about the baby in lisa's arms.

 

the police chief steps in, mentioning that they discovered the identities of the two employees on the plane. their flight attendant had a daughter around the age of jieun, so, although they haven't done any kind of testing, it's likely that's her. he also, after quieting a bit, states that they found two bodies on an island not far away from the island the girls had taken residence. they both had identification on them as well.

 

to his credit, the man looks at least _mildly_ saddened by the news, but he still doesn't have the decency to sit, instead, looking directly at lisa and asking her ten words that cause the entire room to fall completely silent and jisoo's blood to run cold.

 

_"lisa, what do you plan to do about the baby?"_

 

jisoo was pretty sure that she instructed their managers to put jieun on the _not allowed to be asked about list_ but the conference is being live-streamed so their fans can see them after so long, meaning there's nothing much they can do about it now.

 

lisa looks up sharply.

 

questions aren't typically asked to specific members, unless they involve something that only one of them is involved in, like becoming the personal muse of a specific brand. but even then, those are usually kept out of group press conferences. lisa _has_ been holding and entertaining jieun the entire press conference, so it makes a little sense that he's asking her but lisa's always been hesitant to talk at these kinds of events, so jisoo can't help but feel like he's targeting her for a reason. _stupid reporters._ lisa coughs a little before leaning forward and grabbing the microphone in front of her, her foot tapping against the floor in a way that jisoo knows only happens when she's _really_ nervous.

 

well, in all fairness, jisoo's nervous too. not because she doesn't trust lisa, she does, with her life, so she's nervous more because lisa's too honest. it's a question with serious implications and while she's sure that lisa understands that, she also knows that lisa will always answer with her heart before her head. the question is designed to put them in an uncomfortable situation and jisoo wants nothing more than to reverse time and throw a heel at the reporter who asked it. but jisoo knows that she can't just step in and answer, especially when the question was asked so undeviatingly to lisa, so she forces herself to sit still as she turns to face the reporter.

 

"i'm not entirely sure but we plan on keeping jieun with us for as long as we can."

 

it's a practical answer. it's obvious to the girls (and it would be obvious to any health care professional) that jieun's become incredibly attached to them, and that it would probably be a horrible idea to send her elsewhere now, right in the middle of her developing stages. but none of the reporters know that. all _they_ know is that one of the biggest girl groups in the world is apparently (at least for a while) adopting a baby.

 

of course, all hell breaks loose.

 

the crowd of reporters all start shouting at once and the mc can only do so much to quiet them. meanwhile, the commotion causes jieun to wake up, and from the way her lips are quivering, it's obvious that she's seconds away from breaking down.

 

before jisoo can even think about what to do, jieun reaches forward, her hand batting at the mic in lisa's hand in front of her, causing a wave of feedback noises to echo throughout the room. it effectively silences the reporters and they begin to sit again. thankfully, chaeyoung's managed to grab the stuffed dog from their manager and pass it to lisa, effectively calming and distracting jieun.

 

jisoo grabs the microphone in front of her and spits out an answer to the reporter's initial question. she rambles a heartfelt apology to the crew's families (they've already given their condolences and plan to meet with them, but she feels like it's right anyways) and then says something about speaking to their families and management about what the best decision as a group is. it's rushed and awkwardly phrased but it's good enough to end the conference on. lisa gives her a grateful smile and they stand to take pictures with the mc. jieun tries to keep hold of her dog, but the stuffed animal is practically the same size as her, so that proves to be difficult. jisoo picks it up, dancing it for a second in front of her face before handing it to lisa as they step away from the table.

 

jisoo wraps an arm around lisa's waist and pretends that her smile is genuine.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

the car ride home is silent.

 

no one even dares to speak, and jisoo spends the entire time gazing in the rear-view mirror at her members from the passenger seat, trying to gauge their emotions by the looks on their faces.

 

it doesn't take a genius to tell that lisa's angry, even snapping at their manager for turning on the radio when he tried to break the awkward silence. she even almost swears once, and probably would have if it weren't for the baby in her lap. lisa has cursed in their songs and occasionally in english when arguing with chaeyoung, probably just to piss her off (and quite possibly in thai, not that jisoo would know if she did) but lisa doesn't curse in korean, she just _doesn't._ it's not like their not allowed to, chaeyoung usually doesn't (other than when she's really angry in english) and jennie and jisoo do it on occasion, jennie more often than jisoo but lisa just _doesn't._ it's all horribly uncharacteristic of their normally go-with-the-flow, brighter-than-the-sun youngest member, and jisoo's more than a little shocked.

 

their dorm is just how she remembers it, which is unnerving. she kinda wishes that something happened to it, that her life had some evidence of the absolute insanity that was the last months but everything looks the exact same. it's almost as if the island debacle never happened, and they've just returned from another tiring day of rehearsals. it should be comforting but it's not and jisoo just wants to sleep until her head stops spinning.

 

chaeyoung and jennie shuffle into chaeyoung's- _well, no_ **_their -_ **room that they've been sharing since before the crash.

 

(jisoo wonders if that's how she's supposed to categorize her life now, before and after the crash occurred)

 

they wave goodnight lazily as they lean on each other, completely exhausted and almost leading themselves into their doorframe. jisoo half-considers walking over and guiding them into bed, because it looks like they need it until lisa walks in, jieun in her arms.

 

there's only one major difference in their dorm since the last time jisoo was there, the large crib set up in her room. it's ridiculously extravagant, and as such, ridiculously heavy jisoo figures, so there's really no point in even trying to move it. (she does try and push it a little, and it doesn't budge, confirming her suspicions. their managers must have set it up while they were at the press conference.)

 

lisa awkwardly hovers in the doorway of her room, obviously unsure of where exactly she's supposed to go. jieun's asleep in her arms but lisa has to enter to put her to bed.

 

"lisa, you're not a vampire and i don't have to specially invite you to enter, just come in," jisoo scoffs from across the room, her headache rolling through her in waves making her words come out a little more aggressively than she meant them to.

 

she considers turning back toward the footsteps entering the door to apologize but she's too tired to coherently string together a sentence, choosing instead to lazily scrub at her face. it's been a long time since she's worn makeup, and her skin isn't used to it. she can vaguely hear the sounds of lisa's lullaby behind her but she's too drained to address that as she pulls the shirt off of her head.

 

somewhere between lifting the shirt up and getting it over her head, her arms decide that they're too tired to continue, so jisoo sits on her bed, her arms pinned up by the fabric. lisa's laugh is light and airy, a ray of sunshine in the shitshow of a day jisoo's been having. she hears footsteps come closer and closer until a pair of hands find her own and she can make out lisa's profile around the taunt shirt.

 

"i thought i was supposed to be taking care of one baby, not two," she teases, helping a frowning jisoo out of the cocoon that she made herself.

 

the pout never leaves jisoo's face as lisa finally gets the fabric over her head. "not funny manoban," she sulks, instantly placing her hands on her hips and jutting her bottom lip out. only then, when she looks up into lisa's eyes does she realize how close they are and become acutely aware of how topless she is. lisa seems to recognize it at the same moment, taking a large step back behind the bed and turning around. in the darkened room, jisoo doesn't miss the flush that runs up lisa's cheeks before she does.

 

"relax lis, it's nothing you haven't seen before," jisoo mutters sarcastically, in an attempt to calm both lisa and herself while walking over to her closet to find something to change into. lisa, however, still doesn't turn around, instead walking over to the opposite side of the room from jisoo's wardrobe to clear the makeup off of own her face.

 

it's cute, jisoo decides, that she can still see the pinkish tinge on lisa's neck in mirror's reflection when she returns from the bathroom after changing. only then does she notice that lisa's already in her pajamas (which makes sense because jisoo's always been methodical at cleaning her skin, regardless of how tired she is) but is still at her vanity. when jisoo enters the room, lisa spins in the chair, looking equal parts guilty and nervous.

 

jisoo steps slowly towards her, because she kinda needs the hairbrush that's behind her, "what's up?" she mumbles, her voice sounding lower than normal with fatigue, even to herself. she grabs the brush and stands, specifically looking at herself in the reflection and not at lisa, who's still facing her.

 

"can i sleep here?" lisa fumbles out, her words coming out rushed and tumbling over each other as she stares intently at her fingers. "it's just that jieun's in here and i-"

 

jisoo cuts her off with a soft hand on her shoulder, "of course."

 

well, saying that was easy but the act of letting lisa say is a bit more complicated, jisoo soon learns. it's not that they aren't used to each other, it's actually rather alarming just _how_ used to lisa's arm around her waist she is. but it's _her_ room now, not an abandoned airplane somewhere which just brings the reality of the situation they're in all too in focus.

 

lisa's arm is around her waist and her face is snuggled into lisa's neck and the baby they've been watching over for the last half-dozen months is a few steps away.

 

it's as close to in a relationship as jisoo's gonna be anytime soon, and she's not sure how she feels about it.

 

well, _no_ . she knows _exactly_ how she feels about it. she's just not sure what to _do_ about it.

 

chaeyoung and jennie are dating and no one really knows so she could, she has _the physical ability_ to date lisa. but that comes with a hundred different what-if situations and then the headache jisoo's been nursing all night comes back full force.

 

as if lisa can feel the wave of pain that's threatening to drown her, she pulls jisoo tighter under the covers, grounding her (or more accurately, freeing her).

 

jisoo decides there that she need to stop thinking so much.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

when they meet jieun's grandmother, surprisingly, it's jisoo who breaks down first.

 

chaeyoung has always been the most sensitive, crying at the drop of a hat (and probably also crying about the hat getting dropped) regardless of if she's happy or sad or even just hungry. it's not a commentary on her strength of character (because god knows the shit she had to go through to get where she is today) but the fact of the matter is, she's a living waterwork machine. jennie and lisa both cry pretty easily as well, mostly when they see other people cry, especially chaeyoung, which just leaves jisoo. she tries to always keep as composed as she can, giving dozens of acceptance speeches while her girls wipe tears in the background. she cries, obviously because _everyone_ cries, but she never does it around her members, or anyone else for that matter. in fact, she can count on one hand the number of times that jennie's seen her cry, which is at least double the number of times lisa and chaeyoung have seen her cry. she's never really liked feeling vulnerable in front of other people, laughing off or deflecting any jokes that make her feel uncomfortable and retreating to her room when the world starts closing in. when her room and dalgom had disappeared during the crash, she took to pacing down the beach with jieun, whatever to get away from anyone, _everyone_ , until she was ready to be the strong eonni again.

 

ironic that jieun, who she's known for maybe a tenth of the time she's known her bandmates has seen her cry more than ten times the number her members have.

 

when jisoo meets jieun's grandmother for the first time only a day after the press conference though, she can't control herself.

 

jisoo is surprised by how _young_ she is, not much older than her own mother (at which point jisoo realizes that she's almost the age of jieun's birth mother, then doesn't think about that anymore). she reminds jisoo of her own mother in a lot of ways too, partially in the way she carries herself mostly but also in the way she speaks. it's not her accent per se, but the _words_ she chooses to use and the order that she chooses to use them in that makes jisoo think of her mother (who is a grandmother at this point, and has been for a while)

 

(jisoo never really thought about that until now)

 

it should have been an easy decision. they wanted jieun to meet her grandmother as soon as possible because evidently, jieun's father and grandfather were both out of the picture (jisoo hadn't wanted to ask why) so jieun's grandmother is her last living relative. she _should_ be jieun's primary caregiver from now on.

 

jisoo knows that she has an insane schedule that isn't appropriate for a fifteen-month-old who needs stability, security and serenity. she knows that her life is incredibly publicized, and as much as she hates it, she _chose_ her life and all the consequences that come along with it. she signed the dotted line fully aware that it meant the end of any chance of some semblance of regularity or any sense of privacy. jieun didn't. she deserves a normal life, with normal friends and a normal childhood.

 

maybe that's half the reason jisoo breaks down. she just wants jieun to be happy and she knows, somewhere deep inside that she probably can't provide that.

 

the other reason why she starts crying though, is the heartbreaking look of hurt in jieun's grandmother's eyes. it's the first time she that she has seen jieun in person since the crash because jieun has been living with the girls, which is probably mildly illegal (or at least a little sketchy) but they're in the works of getting paperwork signed with the help of their lawyers to let her stay at least until something permanent is decided and jisoo's dad and jennie's mom know some people, so they're not in jail as of yet.

 

judging from how jieun reacts to her, as they walk into the long conference room, she doesn't remember her grandmother, shyly clutching onto lisa's shirt and ducking into her chest.

 

her grandmother looks crushed.

 

it's not evident from her face because she's doing a good job of hiding it but jisoo's more than a little familiar with the look in her eyes. she's seen it hundreds, maybe thousands, of times across herself in pictures, videos and in the mirror. it's the look she sees when she needs to be strong, when other people are relying on her to be more confident than she feels.

 

jisoo rushes forward, the tears pouring from her eyes before she even reaches jieun's grandmother. if the woman is at all surprised, she hides it well, instantly wrapping a comforting pair of arms around her and clutching tight. if anything, she seems relieved to have jisoo in her arms, to have someone that _needs_ her.

 

while jieun's grandmother may not have been shocked, her members certainly are. jisoo's not a terribly, outwardly affectionateperson, and this is probably the most intense greeting she's ever given a someone, to any of their knowledge.

 

jisoo just sobs into the shirt of the woman who should be a stranger but seems all too familiar as she pulls her tighter still, until jisoo gets transferred to a taller woman who's hug she recognizes instantly. vaguely in the background, she can hear the sounds of jieun mumbling out a shy _hi_ , giggles from chaeyoung and jennie introducing herselfbut all jisoo can focus on is the arms around her waist and the thai lullaby that's being hummed softly into her ear as the tears fall, then slow, then stop.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

it's decided that they're not getting a comeback quite yet.

 

none of the girls are terribly upset about it, the lack of full album after more than five years now is glaringly obvious but everyone agrees that their health is more important. the doctors have decided that they're malnourished ( _well, no shit, they couldn't eat much on the island_ ) and strangely enough, their boss actually agrees that they need to prioritize their well-being over anything else.

 

(jisoo figures that there has to be a first time for everything, although she's more than a little pissed that it took them _literally getting stranded on an island in the caribbean_ for him to care about their health)

 

that leaves the girls a lot of free time, which allows them to spend the majority of their time with jieun.

 

jisoo's more than grateful for it. jieun's nearing sixteen-months, meaning that there's a lot of milestones that jisoo doesn't want to miss.

 

actually, it's not the big moments that she's scared of missing, it's the little ones. her first steps and her first words had been important of course, but it's the daily smiles that she finds herself terrified without. even when jennie and chaeyoung take jieun to visit their families to give her and lisa time to rest, she feels empty, like she's missing a limb.

 

they're in the process of adoption- _well, no,_ **_jisoo_ ** is in the process of adoption. getting her and lisa both on the birth certificate would have been, _complicated,_ to say the least. given that they can't define their relationship between the two of them, _legally_ naming it is not a step that they're ready for.

 

jisoo doesn't know where she and lisa stand.

 

they don't have a name for whatever their _thing_ is, mostly because even jisoo herself isn't sure what their _thing_ is. she and lisa sleep in the same bed, cuddled together like they did back when they needed too. they hold hands even when they don't need to and jisoo's sure that she's caught lisa staring at her a little too deeply more times than she can count. they do everything that girlfriends do, they have a ridiculous number of matching jewelry pieces and take cheesy pictures of each other and jisoo won't lie, she's developed a habit of stealing lisa's clothes (partially because lisa's taller so they're really comfy and partially because they smell like that fresh scent that's uniquely _lisa_ ). really, they do everything that chaeyoung and jennie do except kiss and jisoo's not entirely sure why she just _doesn't_.

 

jisoo softly closes the door to their apartment, making sure not to wake any of her members that are assuredly asleep at this hour. her meeting with their team of lawyers trying to get her custody of jieun had run late (jieun's grandmother gave her blessing but that doesn't mean the korean court system has) and she's exhausted.

 

she's not surprised by the light filtering out of the door to her- _their_ -room as she kicks off her heels (because god forbid anyone know that's she's 162 cm while _sitting_ ) and slips on a pair of slippers, walking toward the light.

 

lisa always, without fail, waits up after every single one of her meetings with their legal team. a little piece of jisoo wonders if it's just because she wants to know what progress she's made but that she does her best to shut down those thoughts as soon as they appear.

 

as she nears the doorway, she recognizes that lisa's singing, the same melody as always. jisoo's done some research since they got back from the island, and now she can sing and understand the lyrics much better than she used to.

 

lisa is standing in the dimmed light, a sleeping jieun in her arms as she dances around the room.

 

it's a sight that jisoo's used to, one that happens almost daily.

 

she shouldn't be so affected by it. her heart rate shouldn't speed up at the sight of lisa rocking back and forth, by the giant t-shirt that's threatening to swallow her whole and jisoo's breath shouldn't hitch at the melody floating throughout the air, at the softness of the gaze lisa is directing down at jieun as she lays her in her crib.

 

but it does and jisoo decides that she doesn't want to wait anymore.

 

by the time she gets in the room, jieun's swaddled in a blanket, asleep and lisa's standing from the crib's side. jisoo walks straight up to lisa, cupping her cheek in her right hand and softly gripping lisa's hip with her left. as if by instinct, lisa curls her own right hand to the small of jisoo's back, although the shock is more than obvious on her face. jisoo can see lisa searching her eyes, trying to figure out what she's trying to do. jisoo just lifts her hand to clutch lisa's, pulling them out to the side as she moves her other hand from lisa's cheek to her shoulder blade, tucking her own head under lisa's chin. she can feel lisa smiles against the top of her head as they relax into the dance hold, swaying back and forth as lisa hums her favorite lullaby.

 

"i love you lisa."

 

it's not the first time she's said it- not by long shot -but somehow, it feels _different_ this time. maybe because she _means_ it differently this time. lisa just presses a kiss to the crown of her head, never stopping the movement between them.

 

"i love you too jisoo."

 

it's nothing big, nothing shocking, nothing that they haven't done before but it's everything jisoo needs to understand exactly where they stand.

 

she loves lisa and lisa loves her, and that's more than enough.

 

 

 

<>

 

 

 

 

it's a month later when the papers are settled.

 

like, jisoo _officially_ has custody of jieun (which is now also her legal name). she would cry if she had enough energy in her body to produce tears as she gazes around the conference room (she's acutely aware that things like this should be happening in a courtroom and it's times like this that she's very grateful for the status she has). lisa is on her right, chaeyoung and jennie on her left as she shakily stands after signing her name on the last dotted line. her knees are a little wobbly and she probably would have tipped over if lisa hadn't snaked an arm around her waist, holding her securely upright. jisoo pulls her close, enveloping her and jieun (who's in her arms) in a tight hug. chaeyoung's hopping up and down a bit, as she tends to do when she gets excited when she skips over to the group and wraps them all in her arms too. jennie somewhat reluctantly joins a second later, although the smile across her face isn't fooling anyone.

 

it all just feels right.

 

as much as it's jisoo's name on all of the papers, all of them are raising jieun together.

 

it's a tad bit confusing, and most certainly out-of-the-ordinary but jisoo'll be damned if she's not going to try her best and make this work.

  
after all, that's what jieun deserves, _the best._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, yeah. that's done now.
> 
> come yell your thoughts at me on twitter @explaininfinity

**Author's Note:**

> i'm almost done with school for the year! i also made a twitter account so go follow me or yell requests / au prompts at me there, it's the same username @explaininfinity
> 
> *generation name: a syllable shared by the people in a generation of a family  
> for example: chaeyoung and her sister alice (whose korean name is jiyoung) both share the syllable "앵" or "young" and jisoo and her sister share "지" or "ji" (her sister is named jiyoon) (idk about jisoo's brother)
> 
> it's not mandatory or anything, and a little bit more old-fashioned so not everyone does it but it is a thing that some people do, like my family (my sister, cousins and i all share "정" or "jeong" as the first syllable of our names) so i wanted to write it in :)


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